"Listen."
"Jim, I can't."
"Oh. Yeah. Sorry, Chief."
Blair rolled his eyes. Jim imagined he was muttering something about Sentinel and obtuseness--well, he would have been, if he hadn't known too well who would have overheard. As it was he kept silent, allowing his partner to do "his thing".
"They're coming this way," Jim reported in hushed tones. "Three of them, sounds like--dammit! Someone must have pointed us out--" He stood suddenly, yanked Sandburg to his feet. "They're starting to run--" and he prepared to do the same, where could they hide now, though--
The next sound made him pause. Someone falling..?
Noticing the change in his partner's expression, Blair rocked back on his heels, grinned. "No worries, man, I got it covered, though now we better move."
Without waiting for further encouragement Jim opened the storage closet door. Anxiously he peered both ways. No one visible in either direction, and his hearing concurred. Making sure Blair was behind him he proceeded into the hall.
Two things immediately caught his attention--Rafe, coming out of the break room opposite, coffee cup in hand, eyebrows shooting up as he observed his two colleagues furtively departing the closet. Simultaneously at the other end of the hall appeared one of them...
"There they are!" The shout was accompanied by a finger waving in their general direction.
Under his breath Blair said a word that Jim recognized but hadn't been aware that his partner knew, and took off, Ellison at his heels, pelting down the station corridor. At the corner Blair whispered "Watch it," and jumped the nearly-invisible black tripwire strung across the hall. Jim followed suit, suddenly understanding the reasons behind their brief window of escape opportunity. If ever he needed a reminder of why he kept Sandburg as a partner... "When'd you get those up?"
"Had a spare second when you were fending them off at Vice," Blair panted, "figured they'd come in handy..." He slowed to a jog. "Jim, they still coming?"
Cocking his head, he listened. "No..." Brow furrowed as he pondered the new development. "There's four downstairs waiting at the elevator, but the three on this floor have stopped--"
Blair gasped, going a bit pale. "Oh god, Rafe--"
Jim understood simultaneously--"He was right in their line of sight."
With a brief shake of his head Blair murmured, "That shirt, his accent--he didn't have a chance..."
The Sentinel put a comforting hand on his partner's shoulder. "There wasn't anything we could have done. Right now it's up to us to put a stop to this."
"Yeah." Abruptly Blair bounced up. "And I know how to do it! We need an intercom to the whole station--"
Jim glanced around. "Major Crimes is directly above us, that's probably our best bet."
They opted to take the stairs; the elevators were being monitored by the two of them who had never left the AV room. Three flights later Blair remarked, "I thought you said directly above us--when did Major Crimes move to the roof, man?"
"Sandburg, do you really want to open a door and find yourself at the bottom of a whole pile of them?"
Blair paused just long enough for Jim to throw a doubtful glare in his direction. "Um, no? But you know I'm not into that army macho gung-ho stuff, and I'm not--repeat, not--gonna be rappelling down a building anytime soon, man."
"You're not?" Jim dead-panned, long enough for Blair to shoot that same look back at him. The Sentinel smirked, "C'mon, Chief, rock-climbing--"
"Buildering, this is a city, not the Grand Canyon--"
"Fine, buildering, it builds character!"
"This day has built more character than I can take! What'd you do to tick off Simon this badly?"
"Me? Listen, Junior--"
"Don't look at me, Senior, I've been on campus for the week. Midterms, you know? Why I had to pick today of all days to come in with you..." He sighed gustily.
They emerged on the top floor, doubled around to the side, took two sets of stairs down, and finally, after many fits, starts, and another brief interlude in a janitorial niche, arrived at Major Crimes untouched.
Simon was in his office, diligently at work. Jim focused briefly on the papers spread across his desk. A mix of 10-40s and Internal Affairs, not exactly the best time to disturb him... "This is your plan, Chief," he hissed. "Now what? I can guarantee Simon's not exactly going to consider this a national emergency."
Blair shuddered. "That's because he hasn't been downstairs." Considering the problem, "Jim, you couldn't like, maybe..."
"Maybe what?" With deep suspicion.
"You know, distract him, sort of draw him out of the office, I'd only need a couple minutes."
"You mean, lie to my captain."
"Not lie," Blair fidgeted. "Just obfuscate a bit, vaguely deceive. Only for a minute, just one minute."
"What should I say?"
"Come on, I can't think of everything! We're partners, man, work with me here! Do you really want to face what's outside those doors, gravitating in this direction? They probably know we're here already, it's only a matter of time..."
"Okay," Jim sighed, with great misgivings. "All right. Get ready to get in, I'll distract him long enough to give you a chance. But this is a one shot deal, Chief--it better work." Readying himself, he tapped on the glass pan on the office door and let himself in. "Sir, can I talk to you outside for a sec?"
Captain Banks subjected him to a long, grim look that had more to do with the paperwork in front of him than his detective. "What's on your mind, Jim?"
"I'd rather--I'd rather show you, sir. It's at my desk..." He gestured to the bullpen.
Simon groaned and tossed his pen aside, pushing himself with great effort out of his chair. "This better be good."
Silently Jim seconded that motion. As soon as he had ushered Simon through the door, Blair crept in. He had to admit, his partner had a flare for furtiveness. Surprisingly silent to all but Sentinel ears.
Jim spent a couple delaying seconds settling on his desk, but his captain soon crossed his arms and glared down at him, "Well?"
Flailing for the most suitable excuse, "Well, um, it's about Sandburg--"
Then Blair's voice came over the intercom, speaking his message to the station at large. Simon jerked up, eyes wide. Jim for his part tried not to snicker--a plan indeed...
And a collective scream rose up from the thirty or so mouths scattered around the station, followed by rapid footsteps running downstairs, doors closing behind them as the invaders scrambled outside.
Jim didn't move fast enough to intercept Simon's charge, but at least he made it to the office in time to prevent his captain from tearing Sandburg into tiny, bite-sized, easily digestible chunks. It would have helped his case a little if Blair's smile wasn't so insufferably smug, as he leaned back and swiveled the captain's chair slightly with his toes, justifiably proud of his success.
"Sandburg..." Simon took a very deep breath, then realizing he was between Sentinel and Guide, released it again and began speaking in an almost reasonable tone. "What is this about? Do I want to know? Do you have any possible reason for telling the entire station, a station of police officers dedicated to truth and justice, that Leonardo di Caprio and Brad Pitt are mud-wrestling on the Cascade Common Park this instant?"
Blair, of course, being Blair, simply had to answer, "I don't think you really want to know."
Jim quickly placed himself in front of his captain before things got any worse. "Simon, this sounds crazy, but Sandburg just saved the day."
"Think it's time for that raise now?"
"If you want to get out of this alive I'd shut up, Chief."
The exchange in no way amused Simon. "Gentlemen," he said, his tone soft, dangerous, and exactly one picometer away from homicidal, "What is going on?"
"You should have expected this, Simon," Blair offered reproachfully, before Jim could stop him. "I don't know why you did it, I mean, it was just nuts, man, even if I hadn't come in. What'd Jim do to deserve it?"
"And with Sandburg," Jim supported his partner quietly, "well, we didn't have a chance."
Simon moaned. "Don't say it. Just don't. Only you two. I really don't learn, do I? I mean, I assign you to a prisoner transfer, and of course he escapes. I put you on a serial killer case and he targets one or the other of you. Last time Sandburg took a drug test the station got held hostage.
"But honestly, now, even with you, what could have gone wrong? You weren't in the woods. You didn't even have to leave the station. In fact, there was no crime! There were no criminals! Tell me, how could you possibly have screwed up chaperoning a troop of Brownies around the station?"
Blair looked at Jim. Jim looked at Blair. In one voice they replied, "You didn't mention they were bringing their mothers!"